The Wishing Game

A fun game I saw somewhere else, I don't remember.
Basically someone says a wish they have, and the next person grants it but gives it a bad tiwst, then they follow up with a wish, for instance:

I wish for a car.
Wish granted, but it has no engine, I wish for a dog
(And so on and so forth).
I'll kick it off, then,

I wish for a $5,000 gaming computer.

Wish granted, but it's not good enough to run Hell Let Loose.

I wish that I could teleport.

Wish granted, but the portal has a tendency to dress you in American flag apparel and teleport you into Pyongyang.

I wish I could speak every language.

Granted, but you can only say things in another language in song-form.

I wish I was the smartest person known to mankind.

Granted, but you will use Sgt. Cairn's teleportation device and be teleported back to pre-historic times.

I wish I had night vision

Granted but you're constantly in a brightly lit room.

I wish I had cheat codes to life.

Granted, but the effects of the cheat code you used will be taken back after you use another cheat code.

I wish for the ability to fly

Granted, but you can only fly one meter into the air.

I wish that I could breathe underwater.

Granted but your breath attracts sharks

I wish i was a Jedi Master

Granted, but your lightsaber is only 6 inches long.

I wish I could become invisible on request.

Granted but your footsteps are incredibly loud.

I wish I could work from home.

Wish granted but you get double the work to do.

I wish I had a time machine.

Wish granted, but once you time travel somewhere you can't go back for a year.

I wish I had the girl of my dreams.

Granted, but she keeps deflating every 15 minutes.

I wish I could see into the future.

Granted, but you would only see your loved ones dying.

I wish I could acomplish my goals.

Granted, but you can only accomplish your goals that are very dangerous.

I wish I could get an adorable puppy.

Granted but the puppy will die in one year.

I wish I could get married in the next few years.

Granted but you will be married to a big Russian woman named Olga, who whit every branch of the tree.

I wishi had a battle tank to go to work in

Wish granted, but you must have a tank crew to drive it.

I wish I had a girlfriend.

Wish granted but she's a man

i wish i had a better GPU